Funny travel story/ How to see all Bali Animals for Free

We ambitiously decided to see all the animals in Bali in just one day. The first place we visited was the ‘greatest bird reserve’, where precious parrots and other birds live, like nowhere else in the world. There are not only birds but also crocodiles and various reptiles hidden somewhere in the reserve, “Like nowhere else in the world” (as was written in a tourist brochure).

The kids were especially excited to see the parrots and talk to them. If the parrots were in a talking mood of course. Since thousands of tourists spend the day in the reserve, the parrots have, over time, become accustomed to people, so they land on their heads, arms and shoulders.

We almost entered the reserve free of charge when the guard stopped us and pointed us in the direction of the cashier. The cashier asked us if we only wanted to see the birds or to observe the birds and crocodiles as well. “How much does it cost to see the birds?” I asked. “$50 per person. For children under three years, there’s a 20% discount,” the cashier replied in a serious tone. “Excuse me, but… for four of us, that would cost more than $100 for bird watching,” I protested.

“Can we take a few birds with us for that money?” I joked, trying to get the best from him. “No, you can’t.

All birds are under the protection of the Indonesian president,” the cashier replied. “$100 just to look at parrots?

We will not give you that kind of money!”

And while we were standing at the entrance of the world’s largest bird reserve, the children began to produce cooing sounds as if they were calling the birds.

And then the miracle happened; one big parrot flew to the door. We watched that bird for half an hour for free. It had feathers of all colors and talked to us in its parrot language. “Aura and Pia, can you hear the parrot trying to tell you something? The parrot came here for free just for you!” “But Mom, we don’t understand the parrot’s language! Can you tell us what the parrot is saying?” “The parrot says we don’t need to go into the reserve because all the birds look the same as her and that she is the most beautiful of them all. She says that it is enough to see just her, so now we can go and watch the elephants,” I answered convincingly like a real bird language expert, so the children wouldn’t protest for not seeing a million other birds. Now they knew that they saw the most beautiful one.

Parrot talks

ZOO in Bali

The taxi driver, who was waiting for us, was surprised that we finished our tour of the world’s largest bird reserve so quickly. He dropped us off at the zoo where the main attraction is the elephants. The kids were particularly excited to see the elephants and ride them. Of course, in front of the zoo, we were welcomed by the cashier. Tickets for the zoo were more expensive than the bird reserve, which we somehow expected because there are a lot more animals there than in the reserve, but $70 per person including riding an elephant was too much. It would cost $280 for all of us to just to enter the zoo. After a short debate in front of the zoo, we concluded that the day was sweltering and that after all, we would be too tired to enjoy it. The children began to evoke elephants hoping that one might come to the entrance too, but the elephants seemed to be better guarded than the parrots. The taxi driver was again shocked that we also visited the biggest zoo in Bali so quickly. Next, he drove us to the monkey forest.

Hi, Monkey!

Monkey forest

There were no cashiers in front of the monkey forest, which was a bit strange to us. The entrance was free! This was not surprising after we saw the warning sign: “Entering is your responsibility. Monkeys are free to walk through the woods and may take things from tourists. Close your bags. If a monkey jumps on you, do not push him or defend yourself because it can be perceived as an expression of your aggression. Stay calm until the monkey takes what he wants and goes away.” Our kids started to jump around like monkeys, and we decided to take the risk and be one of them. I closed my bag and we stepped into the monkey forest. After all, we saw that other people were coming out from the forest alive and seemingly unharmed, so we immediately realized that it was not that terrible and that monkeys were good creatures and would not do anything to us. Indeed, the monkeys walked peacefully in the woods, sat by the path, and observed passersby quietly. Tourists felt secure because guards were nearby. Monkeys apparently had experience with the guards because they didn’t do any monkey tricks near them. The only problem was that there were a lot more monkeys than guards. In the middle of the forest, one old woman was selling bananas at astronomical prices. She knew that monkeys don’t have much money for these expensive bananas, but tourists do. In gratitude, the monkey would take the expensive banana, climb on your shoulder and eat it.

These bananas were the most expensive in the world, but it isn’t every day that a monkey sits on your shoulders and eats a banana. I bought a banana and kept it on my hand until it happened: one monkey started climbing over my body like it was a tree, onto my shoulders and consumed the most expensive banana in the world. The kids were thrilled with the monkeys. Unfortunately, you’re not allowed to adopt a monkey; but they would be such good pets. Aside from playing with children, I’m sure they would assist in housework, such as cleaning dust on the ceiling and other hard-to-reach places. As I was imagining a monkey wearing an apron, I felt something getting pulled out of my pocket. “My cell phone, my cell phone!” I began shouting. I saw a baby monkey with my iPhone climbing to the top of the tree and disappearing in the treetops. Maybe he was trying to catch a signal. After a few moments, he appeared running with my cell phone through the forest. The guards ran after him calling out tense scoldings. The monkey skilfully hid behind the trees, but the guards managed to surround him. Tourists gathered around to see how long the monkey would endure the siege. Finally, he surrendered and dropped the cell phone. All the while, I was just worried that if a monkey called relatives in Africa, who would pay the bill?

The new member of our family!

If you didn’t laugh enough already, you can try reading other funny stories by Mom the Muse.